Getting by means of the Winter with SAD (Seasonal Affective Dysfunction)


“How are you?” is a query many people are aware of. It’s most likely the query we get requested extra typically than some other. Many people robotically reply with ‘effective thanks, you?’, as a result of that’s the response we’ve discovered to offer. It’s the response we heard the adults round us trot out every time they had been requested how they had been; they most likely discovered it from the adults round them.

Persons are changing into more and more conscious of this. Numerous campaigns encourage us to ‘ask twice‘ or to ask ‘how are you, actually?’.

The issue is, we don’t at all times have a solution. We don’t at all times know the way we’re.

Our Head Is Buzzy

Typically, our heads are buzzy and fuzzy. Nearly just like the static that happens when a radio or TV doesn’t have sufficient sign.

An excessive amount of data has are available. Too many ideas are whizzing round. We’re completely overloaded. Layers of ideas, phrases, textual content, interactions and messages stack on high of each other, jumbling themselves up within the course of.

We are able to’t suppose, as a result of ‘it’ is simply too loud. We’re overwhelmed, overloaded, and earlier than we will correctly have interaction in any dialog, we want time to wind down.


There are occasions once we do have ideas, however we will’t catch them to learn them. We are able to see them in our thoughts. They’re there, on the very fringe of our imaginative and prescient. Simply out of attain.

We are able to’t catch them. We are able to’t pull them down, or deliver them shut sufficient to us that we’re in a position to learn them. It’s so irritating.

We all know that our ideas are there, and we all know that if we might simply seize them and skim them, then we might talk much more successfully, and let you know how we’re. However regardless of how laborious we attempt, they keep out of attain.


Mind fog can smother us. It clouds our head and might make our tongue thick and heavy. Our ideas get smothered; buried below the thick, dense fog.

We are able to’t let you know how we’re, as a result of the fog smothers the reply. It’s so thick that it doesn’t permit something in or out. Our ideas have slowed proper down.

Supplying you with a good response would contain wading by means of this fog; digging all the way down to uncover our ideas and emotions. We don’t have the power to do this. So we will’t let you know how we’re.

What I Imply After I Say I Don’t Know How I Am


Typically we turn into disconnected from ourselves. This may occur in a bodily and psychological sense.

Bodily, we could not discover once we’re hungry, thirsty, in ache, too sizzling, or too chilly. Typically it may be harmful as a result of we neglect to see to our primary wants.

Psychologically, we cease connecting with our ideas and emotions. Typically it is a trauma response; once we expertise terrible issues, our mind can shut down to guard us. We ‘swap off’ to outlive. Typically we squash and squish every thing down as a result of we’re not in an area the place we really feel in a position to work by means of it. The extra we squash, squish and ignore, the extra disconnected we turn into.

Disconnection can imply that we begin to reside a bizarre spacey existence. We don’t know how we’re, bodily or mentally, and really feel barely indifferent from ourselves always.


Life isn’t easy. If we cease to analyse how we really feel, it will possibly generally be tough to slim it down to at least one ‘factor’.

Every single day, we undergo many alternative feelings. So, developing with a concise reply to the ‘how are you’ query might be difficult. We’d have felt each nice, and garbage, so does that imply that we steadiness out as ‘effective’? Can we common our feelings? Probably not. Being ‘okay’ doesn’t precisely clarify how we’re. It glosses over too many issues.

Perhaps we might provide you with a much less concise reply? However then how a lot ought to we let you know? How a lot element ought to we give? Figuring this out may cause our mind to jam. We get caught. We don’t know what to say – so we default to ‘effective’ or ‘okay’, and the dialog strikes on.


A few of us battle with open questions. After we attempt to reply them, we shortly spiral into overwhelm as we attempt to work out what it’s we’re being requested.

Are we alleged to be speaking about ‘how we’re’ bodily or mentally? Ought to we speak about ‘how we’re’ at work, dwelling, faculty or uni? Are we meant to debate our relationship with our household? Ought to we be speaking about our sleep routine? Do you wish to know the way properly we’re consuming? Are you asking whether or not we’re managing to depart the home commonly? What’s it that you just wish to know?

All of those ideas and questions can flood our thoughts as we attempt to put collectively a solution. It’s overwhelming and turn into distressing. We’d not have the ability to reply as a result of we will’t work out the query we’re being requested. No reply appears ‘proper’, so we don’t know what to let you know.


Figuring out emotions is absolutely tough. Typically we all know that we really feel one thing, however we don’t know what that one thing is. It doesn’t appear to suit any of the phrases that we maintain in our inner phrase financial institution.

A few of us may give textbook definitions of particular emotions. We’d have the ability to academically describe how an individual may really feel in sure conditions. However once we attempt to apply this educational information to our personal circumstances and establish our personal feelings, we would battle.


Life can get busy.

Typically, once we’re continually operating from one factor to a different, we don’t have an opportunity to cease (and even pause) and check-in with ourselves. We don’t know the way we really feel as a result of we don’t have the time or house to consider it. From the second we get up, to the minute we go to mattress, our time is accounted for. Our mind is operating one million miles an hour to try to keep on high of every thing.

We don’t have the time, power, or mind house to work out how we really feel, nevermind talk these emotions.


Typically, the explanation we’re so busy is in order that we don’t have to consider how we really feel. It would really feel too tough. We’d not wish to confront it or admit issues to ourselves. So we busy-fy our lives on objective, tackle increasingly more commitments, volunteer for all kinds of issues, and fill our downtime with TV, social media, books, and the rest that stops us from considering.


Typically, we depend on others to inform us how we really feel; however completely different individuals can have completely different opinions. Some may inform us that they’re critically frightened about us. Others may remark that we’re doing very well. A good friend may inform us that we glance drained or low, whereas one other may say it’s good to see us being a bit extra ‘us’.

It’s actually complicated. All these completely different individuals have completely different opinions on our life, temper, emotions and basic wellbeing. It may create battle in our thoughts as we attempt to navigate the query of how we’re, making it tough to determine a solution.


Feeling low is tiring. It may additionally trigger our sleep to go all wonky, making the tiredness even worse.

Turning our focus inward, determining our emotions and speaking them, is totally exhausting. It’s draining and might depart us feeling wrung out. We all know that an trustworthy response may lead to follow-up questions, too, and that’s one thing that we positively don’t have the power for.

Typically, it’s far simpler (and loads much less effort) to say that we don’t know the way we really feel, and hope the dialog strikes on.


Speaking about how we’re might be laborious.

Some persons are actually open and can fortunately focus on their ideas and emotions with anybody and everybody. Others are extra personal and have a small group of people that we chat to, as a substitute.

A few of us course of our ideas and emotions by speaking to others. Others prefer to determine all of it out earlier than having a dialog.

We’re all completely different, and it may be that we’re in a spot the place we merely don’t wish to speak about how we’re.


Typically individuals get aggravated or pissed off once we can’t reply the ‘how are you’ query. This annoyance and frustration also can kick in once we’re unable to speak how we’re in a means that they perceive.

We’re not normally being deliberately manipulative, tough or evasive. There are many causes for not understanding how we’re – starting from genuinely not understanding, to not wanting to debate it at the moment.

Whether or not we will work out our emotions or not, we’re not alone. We’re not the one one that’s felt the best way we do.

Please assist us to assist others and share this submit, you by no means know who may want it.


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